15 Self Nudges for Growth 

Self nudges

One round and a little more. That was the instruction our coach gave. A few years ago a friend of mine and I started to train for a marathon. Two people who couldn’t run 200 meters at a stretch decided to do a half marathon, that is 21 kilometers. The plan was simple, start the marathon, walk and run some distance and then slip out of the route at a point closer to our home covering about 7-8 kilometers from the start. So it was not about the daunting 21kms but it was meant to experience the fun in the air by being a part of the jamboree. Those years, running a marathon was not so popular. Since we didn’t know how to run even 200 meters, we decided to train for the marathon. Half the world laughed at us hearing we were going to learn how to run. I was incredibly lucky to have come under this coach, popular and revered in the Mumbai runner’s community, Savio. Those days the community was small and still growing which meant we received dedicated attention from him. 

After a few weeks of training, during one of the exercises, he gave a small, simple, and subtle tip. Your round and a little more. It meant if you’re doing one round of the track, finish a little more ahead, If you are doing two rounds of the track, run a little extra. So no matter whatever is your run, doing a little extra will trick the mind. There was no definition of that little extra. It could be 10meters or 50meters. One round and a little more became the mantra, slowly and painfully. A little more, no matter how little, compounded. We finished 21 kilometers. 

A lot of things compound in life. And sometimes, different, small things come together in a manner that feels so giant, but they would have just compounded together.  Steve Jobs popularised ‘connecting the dots’ in his commencement address to Stanford graduates in 2005 where he meant that experiences come together to give us ideas in a manner that is very new, leading to innovation and growth.

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.” 

Steve Jobs, Stanford commnencement address, 2005

The new identity embodies forward and upward-facing arrow made of a set of 15 circles, representing the course framework of 15 habits and ideas. For me, the circles are also communities of fellow learners, our own community. And you are not just corporate professionals but some of you are also startup leaders, private practice professionals like dentists, chartered accountants, freelancers, students, and even homemakers. Neither the age nor the designation, it is our quest to get better and grow that makes our community of fellow learners. So this identity, the forward and upward moving design is us- you and me together on the path of growth and a better life. 

Connecting the dots is essentially our experiences and principles that drive our habits coming together. This week, as I share the new identity and as it is my birthday week, I am sharing with you 15 nuggets as self nudges that have evolved and stayed with me over the years. These are not the mental models and habits that the SHIFT course has, these are my daily practice. These are the ones that have made me write the framework for SHIFT course mental models. These are the ways that keep me centered, make me more creative in thinking and help me navigate my everyday. Over the years they have compounded in meaningful projects, sustainable ideas, and life-changing decisions. 

These are 15 self nudges as they work as reminders for me for growth: 

  1. To write better, read more. To read better, write notes.
  2. A subtle change of a word brings in a substantial effect, both in written and spoken language. And, stay away from negative words.
  3. You cannot fight time. Accept it. Good time, bad time, beginning time, end time nothing is in your control. The only thing you can do is accept as it comes and act as judiciously as you can at that moment.  
  4. If you respect time, time will respect you too. Being punctual is keeping your promise with the time. 
  5. Promises made to yourself become your superpower. Take care of your own promise. A new year resolution is a promise made to the world. Staying truthful is a promise made to yourself. 
  6. Bring in deep work that is ‘no distraction work’. Start with 30 minutes of deep work, no phone, no social media, no emails… You will be surprised with yourself. Don’t grow from 30mins to 40mins to 60mins, instead grow 30minutes into two or three sittings. It is more sustainable.
  7. Upset your routine if the routine is not working for you, but keep a routine. It is the hardest thing to maintain but is the strongest support in your hard times.  
  8. Say thank you, always and always to the lift door operator and to anyone who opens a door for you. Also, open doors of opportunities for others. 
  9. Learn to segregate trash. E-waste, tetrapaks, and plastics are meant for separate trashcans. While throwing plastic containers of shampoo, handwash, oil, kitchen utilities collect till you have a big bag ready. It is easier on the rag pickers. A little care for green earth makes you empathetic for the unknowns too.
  10. Like fitness, be responsible for your own food, what to eat and when to eat. Help your parent, partner, roomie in the decision and arrangement process. 
  11. Relationships need attention, work, and care.  Also, make efforts to socialize. You don’t have to be a party animal but being social is an inherent need of human nature and keeps you enthused.
  12. While carving a new path and being stopped by others, think if your path is crossing societal boundaries or legal boundaries. If societal, don’t worry, they are just human-made boundaries and your path means you are creating a new boundary for your society. 
  13. If you think about how to achieve the goal, learn to think about how to fail too. Practice inversion thinking. 
  14. Acceptance of failure is going to be hard, really hard. So take your time. Non-acceptance of failure is not a choice. You will suffocate and not move at all.  
  15. Generosity is the single most virtue that separates a great leader from just another leader. Generosity is not just giving money and help, but the ability to forgive, to give attention, to share learnings too.

Things come together, in unexpected, compound ways. Food, fitness, routine helps in good times and hard times. Saying thank you nudges us to open doors for others. Being empathetic makes one creative in thinking. Innovation comes from noticing and experiencing the problem.

The two most important skills to lead a purposeful life are to think clearly and to communicate well.  Several dots join on their own to improve both of these skills. All you have to do is to have clarity about your own set of nudges, practice them, improve and repeat. And when you practice, remember ‘your round and a little more.’

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